God's plans

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

I want to explain the poem I wrote last week. All of my life I have always had a plan. I had goals, dreams, and an extensive plan on how I would reach those goals. Of course my life rarely ever worked out the way I had planned it. As it turns out, God had different plans for my life, far greater plans than I could ever imagine. 

Even though I am following God, I do not like not knowing what his plans are for me. Even when he shows me a small piece of what he has in store for me, I just want to see the bigger picture.

I have been going to a bible study every other Friday. We have been doing an exercise that has been an excellent illustration of God’s guidance in my life. In our exercise, we were partnered up. Then we were blindfolded. Our partners had to tell us where to go without touching us. In the last exercise, we had to do an activity blindfolded. We had to glue pieces together and make a church magnet.

During these exercises, I noticed a few things. I noticed how difficult it is to follow someone else’s direction when you have no idea where they are  leading you. It takes discipline and commitment to drown out the distractions around you and put all of your trust in someone else. Sometimes it was easy for me to misunderstand what my partner was saying because I could not see her or what was ahead of me. She corrected me when I made a mistake, so that I could be back on track again.

This was a great illustration of God and his plans for us. Circumstances in life are often unexpected. We don’t  know what lies ahead of us. Sometimes when we ask God his direction, it takes a while for us to understand his directions. It is not that God wants us to be confused. He is not the author of confusion. He is the God of the Universe, but we are human. Sometimes the distractions of life prevent us from understanding him. Sometimes God is not ready to reveal the whole picture to us, because he is showing us something through the waiting process.  Regardless of the reason why we do not yet know God’s plans for him, we need to keep our focus on him.

It does not so much matter what our destination is. All we really need to know is that God has amazing plans for our lives. Sometimes we need to stop trying to figure everything out. When we are so focused on figuring everything out, we lose sight of the things that really matter. We need to take a step back and enjoy the journey God has laid out for us. Trust God and let him lead you to your destination. We don’t need to have everything planned or figured out because God already does!

Trust

Quietly walking

Emptiness behind

A cloud looms ahead

I  can not see beyond

The distance

I only hear

Your voice guiding me

Where are you taking me?

Where are we going?

you never say

I never feel your hands

Guiding me

I never saw your kind eyes

But I know you are here

Walking besides me

I don’t have to see your footprints

To see the impact

You have in my life

Your voice

A gentle whisper

Telling me where to walk

I still cant see what’s ahead

I asked many times

But you never say

You said I don’t need to know

You said the journey matters

Not the destination

I am still unsure

What will happen?

If I don’t know where I am going

How will I know when I get there

Frustrated

I want to cry

But you wipe my tears away with your handkerchief of hope

I continue to follow your voice

Quite, still gentle, but purposeful

Trust

I hear you whisper

Trust me child

Trust,

 Trust

 Trust

Echoing in my ear

Smiling

I have made my decision

I will follow your voice

Wherever it leads me

how to help a friend

I was planning on wrtiting on this subject later. Yesternday something happened that reminded me how much it is needed for me to write on this subject now.

A couple of days ago, I went to the store. At the store, I heard people talking about an elderly lady who had a hurt arm. The woman had asked for help because her husband had hurt her. However, when her husband came back into the store, she asked the people she was talking to her to get away from her. She said she was afraid her husband would be upset because he saw her talking to someone. I wanted to do something to help the lady, maybe give her the number to a local shelter, but she was not at the store anymore. It broke my heart to hear about what happened, especially knowing that there was nothing I could do to help her. The cashier said something that struck me. He said that he was shocked because the man who beat his wife was too old for that kind of behavior and should have outgrew that kind of behavior. What? This didn't make sense to me. So, is he implying that it's normal to beat your wife when you are young as long as you outgrow it when you get older?


Unfortunatly situations like this where a huband is abusing his wife happen often. This is unacceptable. Colossians 3:19 says "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them." According towww.dvrc-or.org, one in every four women in the United States will be abused by their significant other at some point in her lives. There are many false myths associated with domestic violence. Many people think that is more likely to occur among poor people or weak people, but to domestic violence does not discriminate in who it affects. Domestic violence affects poor people, rich people, white people, black people, strong people, uneducated people, educated people etc. Chances are that you know someone who is in an abusive relationship. So how do you help someone in such a relationship?

Do not judge or blame her. This will not help. Chances are that she is being put down by her abuser. She probably already feels like the abuse is her fault and that she deserves it. If you put down and blame her, you may feed into her belief that she deserves the abuse. Let's stop blaming the victim.

Stand by your friend no matter how many times she goes back to her abuser. Chances are that if your friend is being abused she will go back to her abuser. According to www.acadv.org a victim will leave her abuser an average of 7 or 8 times before she leaves for good. Often times people get frustrated at the victim and say why doesn't she just leave? There are many reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships. I do not have time to go in to all of them, but I can name a few. She does not have the money to support herself, she has small children, and she is afraid for her life. According to www.domesticabuseshelter.org women who leave their spouses have a 75% chance of being killed by their abuser than those women that stay. Be a good friend for her and willing to listen. Be there for her until she finally is ready to leave for good.

Remind your friend that the abuse is not her fault. If she has children tell her that her children do not deserve to be in this kind of situation. Remind her that it is never acceptable to hit another human being. Remind her that domestic violence is against the law.

Encourage your friend to get a safety plan. Domestic violence is dangerous and she needs to take precautions to keep herself safe. If your friend calls a local domestic violence shelter, that shelter can assist with developing safety plans for every situation, wheter your friend decides to stay or leave. Leaving is the most dangerous time so your friend needs to be aware of how to safely leave. Tell your friend not to tell her abuser when and where she will be going.

If your friend leaves her abuser tell her that getting a protective order is an option. Explain to her that filing a restraining order is not the same as filing criminal charges. Explain to her that filing a protective order will not put her abuser in jail, unless he violates the order. A protective order is a court order that tells the abuser he has to stay away from the victim. A protective order prevents him from abusing, stalking, or harrassing her. Warn her that although protective orders help in some instances, they do not help in others. A protective order is a peice of paper and sometimes people violate them. So, your friend should still be cautious. She should notify her neighbors, friends, and coworkers, that he is not to come near her. IF she or anyone sees him at her work, or job, they should immediately call the police.

Encourage your friend to call a local domestc violence shelters. Shelters are a safe secret place to live temporaitrly untill your friend gets back on her feet. Even if she does not need to stay at a shelter advocates can help in other ways. Advocates can assist her by helping her get a safety plan, connecting her with resources in the community, giving her items she may need to live such as clothes. Many shelters offer some sort of counceling wheter it be individual or support groups. These groups can help your friend get support from others dealing with a similiar situation and help her to learn more about the dynamics of domestic violence.

Pray for your friend and her abuser. Ask God to draw him towards God and to change his heart. Ask God to protect your friend and keep her safe. Ask God to reveal to her that he is with her. Ask God to give her wisdom on what to do in her situation.

Be a good friend. Be understanding and compassionate. Help her in anyway you can. Listen to her and give her the support she needs during this difficult time.