Concerning Unforgiveness

I found a poem I wrote in 2010 about unforgiveness and the negative effects of hate. I had also written a prayer underneath the poem. I want to share it because it was reminder to me of how important it is to forgive the people that hurt me.

I think it would help for me to explain that I was a victim of domestic violence. I know the effects of hate, because I had so much hate for my ex. That hate did nothing to hurt my ex. That hate and anger I felt only hurt me and made it hard for me to trust and to love again. It wasn't until I consiously made a decision to forgive my ex that I was able to be happy and love again.

It is hard to forgive someone who hurts you, but it is even more painful to hold onto that  unforgiveness. Forgiveness is not an emotion, but a choice. I had to learn that just because you forgive someone does not mean that you  condone what that person did to you or even that you should maintain a relationship with that person. It simply is releasing the hate you feel for that person and making the conscious decision to forgive him or her. I don't think that forgiveness is something you can do on your own I think we need God to help us to forgive those who have hurt us. From experience I have learn that forgiveness can sometimes a long process. Even after you have made the decision to forgive someone you may have to make the decision to forgive that person over and over again, forgiveness takes time. If there is someone in your past that has wronged you I encourage you to release that person. Ask God to help you forgive them, not for their sake but for yours.

Anger
Cutting, peircing
sharper than any blade
peircing the wounds
embedded in my soul


Bitterness
like a plague
an incurable vacination
Infecting my innermost being
Soaking into my veins


Consuming a poison
on my own accord
Until, I'm left to question your agenda


Broken, empty, alone
nothing left entact
masquerading a smile as part of my act


I have built a fortress
a wall of burden, mischeif, sorrow


No one can touch me
No harm can befall me
And yet...


No one can love me
Refusing to show mercey
I stubbornly grasp
the bitter remains
of past hurts I refuse to forget

Father,
Please release me from the bitterness I hold in my heart. Help me to release those who have hurt me, so that I can be set free. I no longer want to be enslaved by the gripping bonds of hate.